The Unsolicited Advice Response Generator
For the moments when someone has offered guidance you did not request, on a matter they do not understand, with a confidence you could not purchase. Select the situation. Select how tired you are. The department will draft the rest.
1. The situation
2. Response intensity
Select a situation and an intensity.
Every response was written by hand and filed by category. Nothing you select leaves your device. The department does not know who you are about to reply to, and would prefer to keep it that way.
Mostly, you won’t. Most people offering advice mean well, and “thanks, I’ll think about it” is free, kind and usually true. The best reply to a well-meant suggestion is often just that.
These are for the other times: the fourth unsolicited pitch this week, the stranger who has decided your choices need their supervision, the relative on round three of the same question. A boundary stated calmly is not rude. You don’t owe anyone a debate about your own life.
If you’re about to send a Departmental Final Notice to someone you love, the Institute suggests a walk first. It will still be funny afterward. They will still be your aunt.
“My department has answered unsolicited correspondence for longer than I care to admit. The secret is that a reply can be short, polite and final all at once. Very few people believe this until they try it.”
Full disclosure: this site exists partly so you’ll read a newsletter. It’s The Detention Slip. Here’s why we’re telling you. It is solicited, by definition, only if you ask for it.